The Mogadorian Fighter Challenge Semifinal: Sigourney Weaver vs. Superman

Alien SF 2 The Mogadorian Fighter Challenge Semifinal: Sigourney Weaver vs. Superman

Welcome back to the I AM NUMBER FOUR Mogadorian Fighter Challenge! Who would you want on your side in an alien invasion? Tomorrow, Pittacus Lore himself will be here to help us decide the final match! Today, Superman faces off against Sigourney Weaver (ALIENS). Dan and Rob Wells have the commentary:

Dan: This is starting to feel like a setup. It’s not fair! I want desperately to vote for Sigourney Weaver in this situation, but I can’t see her being more effective at stopping our Manhattan invasion than Superman.

Rob: I think maybe we shouldn’t have put Superman on this list.

Dan: This is a fanfiction I want to see, though, where Superman gets thrown into the plot of ALIENS and has to go down and find the colonists. What would that be like? You know they’d end up planting an egg in him, and the way the aliens work is that they use the hosts’ DNA, which is how they ended up with the Alien-Predator hybrid. If you had an Alien-Superman hybrid, that would be the scariest thing ever, and I don’t want that to happen, so I’m not going to let Superman get anywhere near an alien, so Sigourney weaver wins the category.

Rob: But they couldn’t plant an egg in him.

Dan: Sure they could.

Rob: Through his throat?

Superman source whimquarterly The Mogadorian Fighter Challenge Semifinal: Sigourney Weaver vs. Superman

Superman, you probably want to fly far, far away from that idea. (image source: whimquarterly.com)

Dan: Yeah, through his throat, it’s a tube. They wouldn’t even have to puncture anything. Unless he has super-powered microbes in his stomach, which I doubt he has, because they’re not directly affected by the yellow sun. What do you think of that?

Rob: I think that if we’re going by our AVENGERS criteria, it would be Superman who wins.

Dan: Lame.

Rob: I think if we were going by our other criteria he’d still win, because he’d kill everything before it can hurt him.

Dan: He can’t kill everything, there’s like a million of them. He can only punch so many things at once.

Rob: He would spin in a circle with his laser eyes.

Dan: That’s what it says on his website: “Welcome to Superman.com, I’m happy to save you from whatever is menacing you at the moment, but I can only punch so many things at once.”

Sigourney Weaver source buzzfeed The Mogadorian Fighter Challenge Semifinal: Sigourney Weaver vs. Superman

Sigourney Weaver is so not afraid of this alien. (image source: buzzfeed.com)

Rob: He would spin in a circle with his laser eyes.

Dan: So he would do the Death Blossom from THE LAST STARFIGHTER?

Rob: Exactly.

Dan: Okay, now I’m digging this. I can let Superman win.

WINNER: Superman 

Previous Match: Will Smith (INDEPENDENCE DAY) vs. Tom Baker (DOCTOR WHO)

Next Match: Superman vs. Tom Baker (DOCTOR WHO)

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