Though technically aliens themselves, both Superman and AVATAR’s Neytiri would make great allies in the fight against the Mogadorians. But who reigns supreme? Welcome to the last quarterfinal match of the Mogadorian Fighter Challenge!
Rob: Here’s the piece of trivia we need to consider: unobtainium is actually Kryptonite. WHAT!?
Rob: So that makes this easy.
Dan: Let’s really look at this. If we have them going head to head, like we did with John Carter, Neytiri wins, because Superman is too good of a person to hurt the monkeycat, but Neytiri is a stone cold killer.
Rob: But we’re not having them go head to head, we put them in each other’s story. If we put Superman in Neytiri’s story, would he solve the problems faster than she would?
Dan: The problem with Superman is that there’s only one of him. Throughout the comics and the movies, when someone wants to mess with Superman, the only way they can do it is to have too many problems for him to deal with. “Here’s a bunch of missiles, and you can only stop one, so who do you choose?” Neytiri doesn’t have to deal with that because she has the entire planet at her beck and call.
Rob: But it’s not her that leads the clan, it’s Jake Sully, so I don’t know if we can give her that power. She can’t always solve all the problems by calling on her woodland friends.
Dan: But my point is, if you put Superman into the plot of Avatar he’s going to try to solve it all himself, and him being who he is he’s going to try to solve it by talking first. And while they’re talking, they’ll sneak behind his back and bomb the magic trees.
Rob: You think?
Dan: Meanwhile, Neytiri is not dealing with that because she raises an army, and can deal with the hundred-plus threats all at once.
Rob: I don’t think you’re giving Superman enough credit. Yes, he’s a diplomat, but he’s not an idiot. He wouldn’t let people go behind him and do that. He’d probably lay waste to the base while they’re all sleeping.
Dan: Because nothing says Superman like “destroying your stuff at night.” I think you may be confusing him with Batman.
Rob: He wouldn’t kill people. But he would smash up all the helicopter things and remove the threat.
Dan: Come on. Which Superman are you talking about? When has Superman ever said, “Hmm, the best way to stop this enemy is to break all his stuff while he’s not looking.” That’s not what Superman does. That’s what he should do if he wants to be maximally effective, but he never does.
Rob: I just can’t see giving it to Neytiri.
Dan: You’re a Superman fanboy.
Rob: No, I’m a realist.
Dan: Okay, let’s use THE AVENGERS as our benchmark for this: a portal opens over Manhattan, tons of aliens swarm through, and you have either Superman or Neytiri. Who’s going to defend Manhattan more successfully?
Rob: Superman, because Neytiri doesn’t have all her friends there.
Dan: We could fudge the rules and give her some animal friends, but even then I don’t think she could pull it off.
Dan: Alas, Neytiri, we knew thee well. Superman, you win this round, but only begrudgingly.
Previous Match: Sigourney Weaver (ALIENS) vs. Starbuck (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA)